real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
