How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
