Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
