Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
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One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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