We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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