You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
