careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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