I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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