I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I need water and some morals
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
