On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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