Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
