your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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