I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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