it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
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this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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