omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize