No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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