Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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