I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They took my balls.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
