Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
No subtext here. People are naked.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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