Just cropdusted the office
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
