Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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