? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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