I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
