Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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