I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
