I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize