Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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