I think im going to throw up on grandma
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
