Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
