I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
