That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
