yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
