I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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