That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
