I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
