What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
So squirting runs in the family.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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