who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
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she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.