I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible