SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.