went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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