I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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