so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
