I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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