wanna go halves on a baby?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
