If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
