How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
