I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
