bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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