I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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