She said her name was "party"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
