PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize