break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
