I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize