You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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