Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
