Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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