I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
