I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
