i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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