It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
jump out the window naked night went bad
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize